


Applied Ethics for Theoretical Cybernetics

by Hisselpenny



Category: Star Trek: Picard
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Past Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Self-Harm, Stardates are confusing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 16:18:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23374228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hisselpenny/pseuds/Hisselpenny
Summary: Dr Jurati is earth's foremost expert in cybernetics, and agency is an important concept in understanding cybernetic sentience. It is the capacity to act, and the ability to make a choice to act.
Relationships: Agnes Jurati/Cristóbal Rios
Comments: 18
Kudos: 25





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Thimblerig](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thimblerig/gifts).

> I've been reading Thimblerig's 'On the Decks of La Sirena' series. I cannot recommend it enough, and it inspired me to write this.

They were travelling back home, to Earth. Starfleet had ordered an immediate return for an extensive debriefing. Death-defying, universe-saving activities must result in a lot of red tape, Agnes mused. Like murder, she supposed.

She had let herself enjoy the triumph. One impossible thing at a time, she told herself. At night she lay next to Cristóbal and listened to his stories. He seemed happy. This mission had absolved and healed him, though it would have done the opposite to a lesser person. It was who he was at a fundamental level, at his base design – a good man. He lost faith but he found himself again. It had been inevitable.

* * *

The ship’s AI observed Dr Jurati leave the captain’s bunks and extrapolated her path. The AI initiated the EMH’s new algorithm and diverted more power to the infirmary.

* * *

The EMH had been concerned about Dr Jurati. Her body as still healing from the uranium hydride overdose, and her mind… well. She was his most concerning charge, that was for sure. The captain was concerned as well, and in a rare moment of agreement between them, the captain and he had quietly instituted a number of new protocols around Dr Jurati’s wellbeing. One such protocol was triggered when Dr Jurati entered the infirmary alone. Emil could hardly bear what happened last time, and materialised immediately next to Dr Jurati.

‘What is the nature of your medical emergency? Dr Jurati, how are you feeling?’

‘I… ‘ she faltered.

‘Any dizziness or nausea? It’s a common side effect of your medication, but not untreatable’ Emil said. He had already started scanning her through the ship’s sensors. Dr Jurati’s heart rate was slightly elevated.

She gave a watery smile. ‘No, nothing like that. I didn’t expect… to see you.’

Dr Jurati had apologised, while she was still shivering and he was still desperately treating her. She had promised not to alter his programming again, and he was pleased that she did not try to deactivate him now.

‘The captain asked me to monitor the infirmary a little more closely,’ he said.

‘Oh…’ she seemed lost. ‘Will you tell Captain Rios that I was here?’

‘Not if there is no reason. A captain of a vessel must know if the crew if unfit for duty, but the crew still have the right to privacy and doctor patient confidentiality. My first duty is to my patients.’

Dr Jurati looked at her hands.

‘If I may,’ Emil stepped in front of her and spoke gently, ‘I was hoping that you might come by. Now that we are not on war-footing, so to speak, it is time to take care of some long-overdue medical needs. We don’t have a full neurotherapy facility aboard, but we do have scanners that will be able to scan your brain to start thinking about therapeutic options.’

The captain and he had agreed to wait a little before the topic was broached, but not too long. The little scientist had been through enough invasive procedures recently, and her body was still processing the trauma and the overdose. But longer they waited the greater the risk that it might prolong her brain injury, or worse, injure her further without them knowing.

‘We don’t have to do anything now, but, as your doctor, I advise you think about it sooner rather than later. Why don’t we sit down, and talk,’ he asked the ship's AI to materialise two stools and motioned her to sit.

‘I was just thinking about… about Bruce.'

‘So tell me about him.’

So she did. ‘I have a superpower. I can sense a mistake while I’m making them…’

* * *

Agnes Jurati was very young, almost 16 years old when she entered the Daystrom Institute. She was excited to meet Dr Maddox. She had been following his work closely. The only person she wished she could meet more was Commander Data. Still, she was here to learn from the best and to maybe meet, or even create, more being like Commander Data. That first day, Dr Maddox rested his hand on her arm as he gave her the tour. It felt nice, and even though it seemed unusual to her, she didn’t say no.

* * *

Her friends had been asking her to join them for a holiday, and there had been a couple of pointed questions about her mysterious boyfriend. She had demurred on the questions but was planning on visiting San Diego to see them, only Dr Maddox had forgotten about an upcoming conference and he asked if she could stay to help co-write a paper.

* * *

After Mars, one by one, the department shrank. Mostly, her colleagues moved to a different department – engineering, medicine, or even psychology. Cybernetics was a cross-disciplinary department to begin with, so that made it easier. Agnes herself had specialised in quantum mechanics before she found cybernetic application during her post-graduate studies. There were a couple of meeting requests from corporate head hunters, even. But then he had went away, and had asked her to wait.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A counselling appointment on the holodeck.

‘I think I’m in a madness simulation,’ Agnes said, sipping tea. Earl grey, of course.

‘You don’t think this is real?’ Emil asked, eyebrow raised, also sipping tea. English breakfast, of course. They were lounging on beach chairs, looking at the rainbows on the horizon. There were several, and they were almost neon in saturation.

‘It’s not like I don’t think you’re real…’

Emil made a face, then looked pointedly at the bright fuchsia flamingos that Agnes had added onto their holodeck session.

‘Oh you know what I mean. Aren’t they sweet? And you are real, you know. Your consciousness has more neural connections than mine – only yours is made of silicone.’

‘Thank you,’ preened Emil.

‘I just mean that I saw madness through a memory of a memory. The Ad.. the Ad…’

‘The Admonition,’ Emil prompted gently.

‘The… Admonition,’ she grimaced, ‘was a recording of a message. Oh listened to the recording decades ago, and it drove her to something like madness. It drove her to murder, who knows how many, to mass murder at the Utopia Planitia, to seriously consider xenocide at Coppelius. She showed me her memory of the recording.’

‘All stories are told through an interpreter and a medium,’ Emil said.

‘Even if the Vulcan mind meld is the most faithful “medium” there is, I saw something through that woman’s perspective. I can’t help but feel what she felt and what she still feels now.’

‘What does she feel?’

Agnes fiddled with her cup. ‘Fear. Anger. Desperation. Something so very close to the brink. Close enough that she, I, can feel the air gushing up to meet me.’

‘And what do you feel?’

‘That’s the question isn’t it? I feel stuck in Oh’s interpretation. Is it my own thoughts?’

Emil hummed. ‘My emergency psychiatric algorithm tells me that there is a truth and value in your subjective experience, regardless of its connection to reality. If a patient was experiencing a psychotic break, which you are _not_, my job wouldn’t be to catch them in a lie like some telenovel detective in an interrogation.’

‘Even if it was obviously factually wrong? What if I said the earth was flat?’

‘Even so… Enoch though, he might have a few words with you’.

‘He would,’ she agreed. Enoch was the ship's Emergency Navigational Hologram, after all. 'I just know, logically, what I'm feeling is wrong. It's so stupid. It's not even what the message was about, Oh misinterpreted.'

‘But Agnes, it’s okay to feel wrong things. People feel wrong things al the time. You’re allowed to feel fear, anger, desperation and even hatred. It’s okay that you felt them, and it’s okay to feel them now. The important thing is that you are more in control of your feelings and your mind. What Oh did wasn’t just telling you a story – it changed your brain architecture. It imprinted a foreign neural pattern that fired over and over and over again. It fired every spare moment of your consciousness and your _un_consciousness, even when you were asleep.’

‘I still didn’t have to do what I did, did I? I _killed_ someone, Emil.’

‘You couldn’t discern or organise your thoughts. Once I got the full complement of my programming (thank you very much), I reviewed your medical data. You hardly ate, you hardly slept, you harmed yourself. In my medical opinion, your mind was temporarily overtaken by an outside force.’

Agnes was silent for a moment. ‘I didn’t love him, you know,’ she said very quietly.

‘That’s okay too.’

‘I hated him sometimes.’

‘I daresay he deserved it,’ said Emil, not unkindly.

‘He didn’t deserve to die because of it.’

‘Believe me, Agnes, he didn’t die because of it.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just writing where my feelings take me at the moment.


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where we start to see the hurt.

Rios woke to the sound of running water. It wasn’t every day he had a guest in his bunk, he thought with a lazy smile. Hell, he never had a guest in his bunk if he was being honest. Not ones that slept over anyway. Not even Agnes, that first time. He had wanted her to stay but couldn’t open his mouth to ask her. Emmet had called him _la gallina_ for days afterwards.

Well, this time he had asked. After all that happened, they deserved this measure of comfort. He felt comforted by her – she who watered his small menagerie of plants, had long and strange conversations with his holos, and gazed at him with those eyes with not a trace of fear, only delight.

They _did_ end up talking about the existential dread of living with the consciousness of death. Quite a lot, actually, as Agnes and Soong grappled with the moral quagmire of bringing someone back to life (well, more Agnes than Soong). Or making a copy. Rios wasn’t sure, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to ask Picard, the grumpy bastard. He wasn’t about to complain about getting a second chance.

Agnes didn’t bat an eye about breaking the law to save Picard. Rios hadn’t either. With the revelation about what truly happened at the Utopia Planitia shipyards, the winds were changing. The Federation would have no choice but to commission a formal independent inquiry at the very least. Hell, they might even give that fun job to Raffi if she wasn’t careful. They had saved the universe, somehow. For now, La Sirena and its crew were safe.

But… they had Maddox’s frozen body in the hold. Enoch had told him that Agnes visited the cargo bay sometimes. Steward said that she wasn’t sleeping well, he couldn’t possibly tell him anymore, but could Rios maybe get over himself and ask her to stay the night? Emil was silent, something about doctor patient confidentiality, but he hadn’t looked happy.

_He_ slept better with her here, but what was she doing up?

‘Computer, time?’ he asked.

‘2:43 A.M., Captain.’ Damn.

‘Lights at 40%.’

Rios got up, feeling around for his clothes and hurriedly put on his shirt and loose sweatpants.

He could still hear the water but no movement.

‘Agnes?’ he called out, knocking on the door to his refresher.

He stood feeling uncertain for a moment.

‘Agnes? I’m coming in.’ Well, better to ask forgiveness. ‘Computer, open door.’

The door swooshed open. The tap was running.

Agnes was sitting on the floor, fully clothed, with his back to him, but he could see something, something…

‘Medical emergency! EMIL!’

‘What is the nature of your medi… bloody hell.’

Emil snatched the towel from the rack and wrapped it around Agnes’ arms.

‘Agnes?’ Emil asked, crouching down. ‘Can you hear me?’

‘… Emil?’

‘Everything’s okay. You’re okay.’

‘I don’t feel well.’

‘I know. You hurt your arm, you might feel a bit faint.’

‘Oh… ’

‘That’s okay. You’re not in trouble. Let’s go lie down. The captain and I are going to help you onto the bed.’

Emil motioned the captain over.

‘Just gently, hold her here, _don’t_ jostle that arm.’

‘Jesus, shouldn’t we beam her to sick bay?’

Emil paused and searched the captain’s face. He spoke quietly, ‘Are you alright, Captain? This might be…bringing up bad memories. I can take it from here, if you could wait for me in the corridor. I’ll see to you soon, take some deep breaths and sit down if you feel faint.’

‘No! Just… I just want the best for her.’ The captain gathered Agnes off the floor, tenderly.

‘Careful now,’ they gently arranged her onto the captain’s bed. She didn’t react to being moved. ‘Please, Captain, you won’t be able to help her if you don’t calm down. I need to focus on her, so I’m asking you to –‘

‘Emil, just do what you have to do.’

Emil triaged. The captain could wait. He started scanning Agnes with a medical tricorder. The captain stroked her hair.

‘Agnes? How are you feeling, dear?’ Emil asked softly.

‘Mmm…’

‘You can rest soon, but I just need to ask you a couple of questions. Do you know where you are?’

‘Cap’n’s room. ’S nice.’

‘That’s good. Good. Do you remember how you hurt your arm?’

‘No. S'ry. Hurts.’ She started crying silently.

‘I’m going to give you something so you can sleep and fix it all better. Is that okay?’

‘’Kay.’

Emil administered a mild dose of anaesthetic. Just enough to put her to sleep but not interfere with her breathing. He counted her breaths and her heartbeat as it slowed.

‘Captain?’ he spared a glance.

‘I’m okay. Please, help her,’ Rios' voice was hoarse.

Emil unwrapped the towel delicately, now stained deep red. Deep nail marks marred both arms, deep enough to have opened a vein on one side but not the artery. Only sluggishly bleeding. He sprayed an analgesic, then an antiseptic. He started up the dermal regenerator. It would be sore for a day or two and they would have to watch out for infections, but not a serious physical injury. He administered an antibiotic, just in case. Satisfied, he cleaned her arms and sprayed a silicone bandage over both arms.

‘How is she?’ Rios asked, when it was all done.

‘Physically, just fine. As you know I am her primary physician and psychiatrist until we reach Earth. I can’t divulge too much but... I can tell you some things to keep her safe. She is suffering from neurological trauma. Her short-term prognosis requires… a degree of care. She has urges to self-harm, but she controls it. I believe this was a case of sleep walking, and lowered defences. I think she’s past acting on such impulses when she is fully conscious.’

‘Jesus…’ Rios rubbed his eyes.

‘Captain, this is not her doing. I don’t believe she’s suicidal. She has... malware that she’s fending off at the moment. She needs some time, and I suspect, surgical intervention on Earth.’

‘What should I do?’

‘Just as you did. You did well today. She doesn’t need the spectacle of waking up in the infirmary. Just keep calm, be kind and call me if anything is amiss. I was monitoring her vitals, you know. I was going to show up before anything got truly dangerous.’ Emil had surreptitiously scanned the captain too while he was tidying up. He was truly doing well. His stats were within parameters for someone who was concerned. Nothing like a panic attack or shock.

‘Thank you.’

‘You’re welcome.’


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after.

She woke up gasping, wrenching from a nightmare.

‘_Cariño_, it was just a dream,’ murmured Rios.

‘Do you require assistance?’ chirped… Emil?

‘Cris? Emil?’ Agnes roused, confused. ‘Ow…’

‘Stay resting for a moment, all's well,’ said Emil. Rios had a pained look on his face.

Emil held a glass of blue drink with a straw at her lips.

‘Please, you must be thirsty, drink and we’ll explain,’ said Emil.

Agnes was thirsty. She drank. It was slightly fruity, sweet and salty.

‘Electrolytes?’ she asked. She was a scientist first.

‘Very good,’ Emil seemed pleased. ‘Would you like to go back to sleep?’

‘No… no, what's going on? Were we attacked? Is everyone alright?’ Agnes asked, a little frantically. It seemed par for the course lately.

‘No, _Cariño_. Everyone is fine. Not even a splinter.’

The captain and the hologram shared a look. They look like mirror images, Agnes thought.

‘Oh,’ Agnes said, feeling her arms, and grimaced.

‘Rate your pain from a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being mild and 10 being severe,’ Emil said.

‘I guess… three? What happened?’ Agnes watched Cris’ face. His eyebrows were drawn, his face pale.

‘This should make it better soon,’ soothed Emil, spraying local analgesic on her arms. ‘The regenerator can heal flesh almost instantly, but nerves can take more time afterwards.’

‘_Cariño_, what do you remember about last night?’ asked Rios.

Agnes thought about her dream. Destruction, fear, pain, darkness, red, pain, fear… _My mind to your mind_…

‘Take a deep breath for me,’ Emil interrupted. Rios grasped her hand.

She breathed in shakily.

‘Everyone is fine, you didn’t hurt anyone,’ calmed Emil.

Rios looked at Emil incredulously, ‘Of _course_ she didn’t!’

Emil glanced at Rios, then back at Agnes. ‘If you prefer, I can ask the captain to leave. It is within my authority to ask him and the captain _will_ leave if it’s in your best interest,’ he explained calmly.

The captain huffed, but remained silent. These damn holos knew where to poke.

‘No, he… he helps,’ said Agnes, sounding very small.

The captain slumped, like a man who suddenly found himself home. He kissed her knuckle.

‘I’m very glad, Agnes,’ smiled Emil. ‘You had an episode of sleep walking and hurt your arm with your hands. We found you, tended to your wounds and tucked you into bed again.’

The captain again looked incredulous, ‘Now, hang on-’

‘Sleep walking is a fairly common response to stress,’ continued Emil, waving off the captain’s interruption, ‘injury in such a state is also fairly common. What I am concerned about is that this constitutes a pattern of behaviour, and that you are starting to rely on self-harming as a method of coping. Overeating, not sleeping, washing and scraping your hands until they bleed, cutting – these are all ways one can harm oneself. Do you understand?’

Agnes nodded helplessly, looking away. Rios stared at Emil.

‘Agnes, look at me,’ asked Emil.

She met his eyes, and he smiled at her.

‘You are going to be fine. This is treatable. You are an intelligent, compassionate woman and nothing can change that. When we are on Earth, we will look at treating your brain injury at a cellular level. Until then, we’ll continue counselling. You are doing well.’

Rios pressed another kiss on her knuckle.

* * *

They helped her finish drinking her electrolytes and watched her drift off to sleep. Her breath was even, long and restful. Rios arranged the covers on her as Emil replicated a fuzzy fuchsia blanket.

‘She like fuchia,’ Emil explained sheepishly, ‘and she might feel cold with the blood loss.’

Rios nodded and helped Emil drape it over her.

‘_Amigo_, we need to talk,’ said the captain, and motioned Emil to follow him out.

* * *

In the end, they went to the kitchen. For all the crew that the ship had gained, they were all hopeless cooks. The kitchen was the most unused room on La Sirena, and it was partitioned from the dining area.

Emil stood awkwardly, scratching his head.

‘_Dios_, you didn’t think you should tell me?’ asked Rios, a little desperately.

‘She was doing very well, considering-‘

‘Considering what?’ snapped Rios, ‘Scraping her hands bloody? Cutting? I thought we had an agreement!’

Emil looked at him sharply, ‘Everyone on La Sirena needs care. Every one of you have complex PTSD for goodness sake! You with your recklessness, Ms Musiker with the drinking, Elnor and Soji are traumatised _children_! She was getting better. I would have come to you, Captain, if I felt she was in real danger. I couldn’t, I _can’t_ harm you more in this process.’

Rios suddenly felt very tired and raw. He felt the weight of the ship, with all its precious cargo.

‘Captain, how are you?’ asked Emil, wringing his hands.

Rios took a deep breath. ‘I talked to people, about what happened on the Ibn Majid. Even found out what happened. It was always damned waste of life, as it turns out, only I know why now.’

‘I’m glad you found friends you can talk to.’

‘Do you,’ Rios rubbed his face for what it felt like the hundredth time, ‘do you need more resources? Do you have everything to treat everyone? Anything I should do?’

‘We should get to Earth. The sooner the better for Dr Jurati. She needs specialist attention. We have enough, and we can replicate the rest.’

Steward materialised next to them, startling Rios.

‘Damnit, can’t a man have a moment of peace on this ship?’ Rios asked the ceiling.

‘Well I _heard_ the venerable captain offering assistance,’ Steward grinned with all of his teeth. ‘After you berated poor over-worked Emil. I have a _concern_ that is neither a hospitality nor a medical emergency.’

The captain sighed. He knew when he was on the losing side. ‘What is it?’

‘Weeeell, Soji and Elnor have been _very_ friendly.’

‘… so?’

‘Poor Soji, growing up without a mother, and Elnor, actually raised by Romulan nuns.’

‘_Dios Mio._’

‘Someone should give them the talk about the birds and the bees, yes?’


End file.
